- Release Date 2018-11-23
- Label Basmati
- Catalog BASMATI16
We think we decide and live consciously. We find logic in our behavior and in our decisions. But so many times, it is just a lame explanation, there is much more going on.
Sometimes we have a gut feeling and it doesn't want to match the picture of what we have about us. Or it isn't what we hope to feel, especially when it comes to a negative emotion.
We think that we consciously create our lives, but more than 95%% of all our decisions and opinions are unconscious.
There is a lot going on in our unconscious mind, it is trying to get us what makes us feel good, instantly, it wants to avoid all pains. But there are situations in Life, where we always end up in the same shit. Maybe we always chose the wrong partner, we can not fulfill our dreams, something is holding us back, we are always broke, worried or the world seems to be such a violent and evil place that it seems to bring us down al the time.
But what's really happening: Our shadow, the dark, the invisible parts inside ourselves, parts which are connected to so much pain that we don't want them to be true or even existing, these parts as well, control our life constantly. And the fact that they are hidden, gives them so much power.
The shadow principle says, that the harder we try to be good, perfect, enlightened or smart and pretty without integrating into our personality what we don't like or which works in the unconscious, the harder it strikes back one. If you don't get conscious about your shadows, he will get you and when you have a weak moment: bye bye shiny good life.
Most shadows are created in childhood when we don't match our parents' expectations, we lock this part away so that they like us. When we experience extremely painful and disappointing moments, kids swear to themselves, to never ever experience or do this again. Things get locked up deep inside of us, we don't know that they are there, but they are and they work, constantly, 24/7.
If you are a priest and you think you don't need sex, in a weak moment.... well, I don't wanna go into too much detail here. But you get it.
I constantly work on my shadows, I try to identify them and integrate them in my life. Because not only shadow controls me, they are a wonderful tool for manipulative people to control me. I had a time where I didn't dress well and my hair looked messy. And I explained myself: I don't need that stupid fashion, I am a great person and don't need to show off on the outside, I am much cooler than all these other people spending time in front of the mirror or in shops and if they don't like me, they have a problem with themselves. But deep inside, there was something that knew, that I just wanted someone to take care for me because I needed it (probably when I was a child). And then, my exexex who was good at manipulation told me: you look shabby and everybody can see it, shame on you. And I was about to say that it's not true, but I couldn't because it was true. But I didn't think its true. At this moment I literally couldn't think. I only felt pain and helplessness. It then took me months to realize that she just told me the truth, the truth that I had locked out so many years ago.
Since then, I am conscious of this detail and I feel much better. And there are so many of these things in almost everybody's life.
And the next time you create yourself a logical explanation about something shadowy about yourself: Don't believe what you think, dig deeper.