Has your jaw ever dropped to the floor in amazement? Maybe when someone did a wheelie on a scooter? Or when someone slammed a Sprite right before basketball practice? Well, The Bearded Man nearly fell to the ground when he saw this girl who could kite surf better than he could. It wasn't the kite-surfing that impressed him, however. It was her unbelievable beard. I mean this girl put bearded ladies since the dawn of circuses to SHAME. And she still had a banging bod. We're talking ridonk-a-donk here. The way the waves hit her beard... The way the sun shone off the saltwater droplets. He was floored. He'd never seen anything like it. He prayed they weren't somehow related. When he found out they weren't, they dated for a whole summer. It was one of the weirdest and most oddly satisfying relationships he's ever had.